my journey

does anyone recognize the title....? well, any scrubs fans out there? its the same name as an episode from scrubs, i dont know which season...

i've been having a strange and interesting time recently..back when i was home, in india, i used to always tell myself that once i came to the US everything would become ok...i would have friends, i could pursue my interests...and so on...well, though not everything has come true like I'd hoped..some of them have become reality...and I am grateful to my gods above..

i've made a group of real good friends here....they are americans, and they accept me for what I am... they made me feel right at home when they called me over for dinner one day, and then surprised me by calling me over for a sleepover the next day..now see, while most of you must be thinkin, so what? whats the big deal? we do sleepovers all the time..

lemme explain..

last time I did a sleepover was when I was in the 7th grade..and that too with one of my closest friends, and we lost contact shortly after that.. i suppose that it was after that point when my aura changed from neutral to dark....i guess I ooze a kinda negativity, many people have described me in that way....truth is, it aint negativity that Im propagating....its cynicism..

i believe that with the way things r right now, there is no other way of looking at the world..

if you look at it in a beautiful, puppy dog tails, sweet, sunshine....kinda way its gonna screw you over, and bad....you're gonna be like "holy crap, what the **** was that?".....

if you look at it in a completely negative frame of mind, then you are not gonna live....in the true sense of the word...u will look at everything in a dark fashion..and treat them accordingly..there is no fulfillment to be found on that path..

however, being a cynic gives you room to treat things in an intermediate sort of way...the result? you dont get ur ass handed to you by life....nor do you go around with "doomsday" written all over your face..

hence im a cynic..

for all of you guys who are looking it up in the dictionary right now, and saying "this dude doesnt know what he talkin bout, that aint what cynic means..."

this is the way i define a cynic...so there..

so after the 7th grade sleepover, its never happened again..

im just thankful to my gods above, that they are watching over me...

sorry bout the dull post..

later

magus.