I was waitin for the 6th of august to come....i thought that mebbe once i got to the US things would change for me...maybe at long last, I would be accepted...maybe I would find more people like me..maybe I would finally have friends.. reality is oft cruel these days...
the truth couldnt have been further away from my childish fantasy...
no one sees me here...its like once again im invisible... and im hating every moment of it..
ironically enough, its easier for me to be alone...by myself....because then I dont feel like neone is ignoring my existence...coz theres no one there...
which is why, that one phrase comes to mind...I feel most alone when Im surrounded by people...
flashes from my past....sitting alone at the back of the class tryin to appear like I did not need friends....standing in the college bus wishing that someone would talk to me....sitting in one corner of the class at college clutching onto my ipod and hoping that someone would think about me, and come and talk to me....its always been more hoping and more wishing for me...and it seems like life is havin a great time knockin them down one after the other...
when will i be accepted? when will i be able to smile because i want to and not because im required to....
life is sad...
im broken deep inside....
nick.
No comments:
Post a Comment