recovery swing

So, yea im still here...
that "event" which nearly took me out has passed and once again im fine....
yes, when i pass my hand over my chest the scar is still felt, but in time even that will wash away,
nothing is permanent except change itself...
right now, so many of the things i used to do seem so stupid, the whining, the complete destruction of my self respect and so many other things....
two things which can make a man shed his dignity ,
1.alcohol
2.a girl.
the whole truth mes amigos...
and as far as the commitment thing goes....i've got this friend whos got a gal, and they make a really cute pair....everything is kinda workin out for them,,
but then i find myself thinkin, what does my friend think about all the time, why does he look like hes carrying the world's weight on his skinny shoulders and i get it....
hes worried bout the future....
i mean yea, all of us are a bit worried bout whats comin up, but its a general sorta worry,
in his case hes worried bout how hes gonna broach the subject of his gal to his folks, bout how hes gonna make enuf money to stand on his own feet, and a whole lotta other things all connected to the relationship...so are relationships bad??
no, they're great, if you're sure you've had enough of living wild and freeand realise that the time has come for you to start taking responsibility....
as for me,
all im sayin is,
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, ITS OVER-RATED!!
im waitin.....once i can stand on my own, mebbe then,
who knows bout how its gonna happen, mebbe a chance meetin at the office, at the coffee place, at a club,
i mean, who knows???
i for one am gonna wait and find out...i think its gonna be worth it in the end...
till later then,
peace out,,

still here

the title is kinda weird but , ah well what the hell...right?
but it is relevant in one way...things keep changin around you but ur still there...
within ur mind nothins changed and ur still the same person but all around you time flows on..
peoples faces, their voices, their behaviour everything is a variable....constantly evolving ..
evolution of behaviour is of course a question of perspective....some might say that a more apt term would be degradation of behaviour...
i for one would advocate selective use of either word..
these days in college are turning out to be quite different from what im used to...
i;ve lost one of my closest friends, a person upon whom i used to depend a lot to get thru each and every day in coll....
i spose i leaned on her a lil too much that i drove her away...anyway thats all history now..
so when i was lost and broken i found solace where i least expected it....my class...
i never actually knew anyone from my class since i never felt the urgency to mingle, i kinda always had the impression that i had her to lean on...but once that slot opened up..
i started talkin to my mates and found out more bout them...
i started feelin much more connected to them than ever before and it felt great...
i dont know whether they felt the same and i don wanna know..
all i know is, they were there for me when i needed them the most, so heres to my batch..
i wish i'd taken the time to know you guys much better but now im gonna make the most of what time i have left...
so on the whole, yea this was one helluva random post, but , well thats me....a random kinda guy...
peace out.
later...
The kid

refresh button

so, whats been happenin with you people...
havent really been in the loop for quite some time now...
had one of those huge eye opening experiences recently and am still assimilating the info i gained from it...
while im on that heres another interesting side thought,
you want something real bad but on the side you know that this very thing is quite bad for you in some way or the other....at first you find it real hard to "get" the thing, but then finally one day when it is put in front of you ....do you just go ahead and grasp it, or do you make the mature decision and stay away....
if you take some time to actually think bout this decision making process, you will come to the realisation that most of us go about our lives having to make such difficult choices now and then.
What comes out of it?? well,
you can live on past one of these choices and reflect on how what you did was the right thing to do...or you can whine for everyone to hear about how you made the wrong choice, either way a lot of reflection is involved....
and even as far as friends go...
its amazing how much some of them can hurt you in certain situations.....but equally amazing is how much some of them can help when you're down on the ground bleeding....
i still dont know if anyone actually reads my blog, my guess is , no...
but if neone does then listen to this....
three cheers to my "friend",
he helped me through some of the darkest times in my life...
certain times it seemed so damn pointless to go on since everything was grey but this guy jus called me up and scolded me, yea thats right, scolded the hell outta me....
and so, dude, you know who you are :)....thanks for saving me....will try to return the favor someday....
so, what is the secret of a good friendship??
unless you're 100% sure bout the person, dont become too close,
the closer you get the more of your shields you are letting down and the harder you could get hit..
and oh yea, never ever make best friends...!! never ever works out!!
so on that neutral thought i'll end this one....
untill later,
cheerio.

igniz

theres this show called igniz comin up at this engg coll called scms....
we plan to play for it....hexen that is...
the band will be officially opened there...
as of now we r plannin to play sanitarium : the b4mv cover....and straight out of line by godsmack...both of them metal piledrivers...
and whats more i plan to wear a mask when i play...mebbe some sort of devilish grinnin expression...won i look awesome?? i think so..
neway im really excited bout this..
as far as my life goes...its in ruins right now but im buildin it up again..like a hard workin lil ant..
neway later,
the kid.

back again

hello again everyone...
its been a bit since i put in a post but thats coz i was havin my internal exams in coll...
somethin really weird happened...
recently, i'd done this grave blooper by means of which a friend o mine ended up gettin big time banged up (not in the physical sense...)
and as a result of this, the friendship is sinking right now, and theres nothing i can do about it..
i guess all i CAN do is get up, dust myself off and move on....
neway, comin back to the main thought stream, so since i knew i had done a bad thing, i was feeling big time sorry, and so i decided that i wasnt gonna study for a single exam durin my internals...
i thought that i would bomb in every single one for sure, but god had otherplans..
he carried me through each and every exam, and even though i aint gonna be toppin ne classes, at least i aint gonna be at the bottom....
and this "thing" ....gave me an entire new perspective....
if what i've done is truly so terrible, would he have helped me...i dontthink so...
and so i'd like to believe that he has forgiven me...even though i am yet to forgive myself...
more on this later/....
i'll tell ya bout the friend i lost....
peace out..

bumblebees

these are bees who mess up.....and thus they are bumbling bees...or in short....bumblebees...
so there..
:)

something...

the title is jus for the sake of it...
i dno what im gonna write bout in this post..
as the melodic and melancholy strains of richard marx singing now and forever wash over me i realise that things in my life are not the way they should be..
if someone is to ask me precisely what is wrong, i would be unable to find an answer, it is not any particular thing.
Its my complete situation i suppose.
Shunned....an outcast, for as long as i can remember, i dont know why things are this way....
its not like i've tried to alienate anyone on purpose, but people jus dont seem to want to be friends with me....im not whining, i dont really care....though at times i wish things were different...
i wish i could have been popular, surrounded by friends, the life and soul of the party...
given my current situation i could never ever fill the above mentioned role but if things had been different, who knows right?
this post is not a sad one....im just thinkin bout things in mylife and the way they stand...
mebbe if i record this now, on a later date when all the crap has been moved...and when i actually start livin a life which i enjoy...mebbe then, readin this is going to feel good...
thats why im bloggin in the first place....
my own version of time travel..
another thing people...
i kno i aint got the right to preach to no one...but whoever your true friends are....make sure that you let them know how important they are to you, tell them bout how you would be empty without them....make sure that they know..
this is very important, even though people say that validation is not important, the first truth is that it is veeeeeeeeeery important...
on that note im endin this post..
peace be with you.
The kid.

Nice day

hey people...(yeah right!!)
one o the days in the past week i'd gone for this campus interview test at a college...
my motives were misplaced of course, i just wanted to cut my classes with a valid reason..
however , as it turned out, i managed to pull thru the test..
and yesterday, we had the rest o the formalities..
which involved a group discussion thing, an hr interview thing and a tech interview thing..
im happy to say that i made it thru it all.... and now i've made it into accenture!!
so that makes my placement record thing 100%,
i went for two companies and got into both of em...
kinda childish, mebbe so, but i don give a hoot!!
yesterday was really tirin and stuff, but it felt good to get the company call letter at the end of the day....i mean, it was something material which we could hold in our hands to tell ourselves that the day had indeed been rewardin, and in this god forsaken place, heaven knows that that kinda day comes along rarely..
newho....right now im recuperatin from yesterdays ordeal...
so later then..
bye and peace out..
employed lil kid :)
(sorry cudn resist thAT last one)

hi again

hey there...today is a dumb-ass tuesday....i hate tuesdays, i dunno why..
mebbe its coz a tuesday is neither here nor there...as in, its like bang in the middle of nowhere as far as the progression of the week is concerned..
the funniest things about this blog...is that i know no ones readin it but mebbe after a lotta years when i open this up and read allo this... i'll come as close to travelling back in time as ne human has....
will write more in the evenin i spose...
gtg now,...
peace out..
the lil kid!!

true love chap1

growin up...growin apart..

aright people..(funny aint it? im sure that no one is even readin this, but i don give a rats behind bout that)
this post is gonna be slightly more sombre..
i wanted to think bout growin up..
we all age (except elves they're soooooooooo cool!!)...we grow older, mind and body.. the changes in our mind are far more evident in certain cases, we find that we dont appreciate certain things we used to absolutely dig a while back..and the same goes for people...it is quite cold to talk bout "outgrowing" people but it happens i guess.. eventually you realise that you dont really like someone, in the worst cases you cant stand em nemore..saddest thing bein that, this change is in no way their fault .
So whose fault is it? i dunno...time itself?? mebbe..
newho...can such a thing be avoided?? I believe so...not escapin age, i meant the outgrowin people thing..
all you have to do if such an urge comes up, is close your eyes and think back to when you met that person and all the fun stuff u did together...bringin back these memories will ALWAYS help to hold back ne other darker feelins which time may hav given you..
theresa lot more to talk bout on that and i will do so later..
GROWIN apart,
people grow apart, it is one of the saddest events ever.. no cure exists..
unless the people involved fight against every single urge they have..every fibre of your body will be tellin you to press the self destruct button on the relationship..but if you can resist and hold on..then you may able to pull thru..
how do i know allo this.. i dunno, i just do..
you can either think bout what i said or laugh at me....or do both, like i said don really care..
thats it i think, more on these topics later..
the next topic is gonna be a good one..
check it out..
thats it for now,
peace out..

someone up there must like me

the title is kinda weird eh??
the reason is quite simple...i was sposed to have this major comp networks test yesterday...and as always, i hadn studied jackshit...
so here i was goin to coll and prayin for a miracle...that was when this weird light blazed all around me and i felt like heaven itself was watching me....YEAH RIGHT!! no light dudes..just an interesting diversion but whatdya kno DEAD END!! BACKTRACK PLEASE...
newho...i was on my way to coll and once i got there the fear worsened...coz, i saw that everyone else seemed to be so full of networking knowledge that i half expected to see bluetooth connections and the like spring up between them...(really sick attempt at humour...sorry!!)
so, me being the great warrior i am, decided....i must stand my ground, fight with honor...raise my blade and allat sorta stuff..
so i bunked class...
and thanks to whoever is watchin over me...the test got postponed...
WOOHOO!! like homer goes...
yea, well thats basically how my ass got saved, and it was a good thing...im quite attached to my ass....no really, look....((gets up and turns around presenting rear end for scutiny))
yea, thats it ...will write more later...
peace out..
toodle-oo
ze kid!!

errata

this post is in reference to the last one..
when i said that it was a huge challenge and stuff with the hdd...
i meant it in a good way...
most of the things i say, come out as jokes, and thus are open to misinterpretation...
a really really close friend of mine, used to get all the jokes comin out of me, and never used to be able to stop laughin...but now, he/she doesn get it nomore...
i wonder why the sudden change.
Tis is sad thing, when one moment you are perfectly understood and the nextmoment you seem to be put up on trial for heresy..or the like...
seeing the world as a joke...what dyu guys think bout this concept??
lemme kno...
peace out..
(P.S: GUYS, TRY AND UNDERSTAND MY JOKES...THEY MEAN A LOT TO ME AND IN A CERTAIN SKEWED WAY OF SPEAKING , THEY DESCRIBE THE PERSON THAT I AM....SO PLEASE, MAKE AN EFFORT....AND REMEMBER, I AINT TRYINA HURT NEONE HERE)

Of computers and stuff

Yea, so...today...hmm
din get much done...
went over to a close friends place and nearly managed to end that friendship for once and for all...
this happens a lot...
this time it was bout a computer.. she had this pc which was fairly good, it ran a decent windows xp and did all the regular computer things which computers do...
untill....(drum roll please!!)...lil kid arrives on the scene( for those of you who are already scratching at your heads...lil kid = yours truly )
how do you take a perfectly ok system and turn it into a potential computing nightmare...?? lemme at it thats how...
i wrecked the system, tried installin linux on it which bombed big time..
allo this happened a while ago and me bein the perfect gentleman did nothin to help her out..
and today her notebook took a break on her.. all hell broke loose..
ladies and gentlemen in the crowd , i'd like to say i fought the good fight, but she brought me down neway...
finally i have her pcs hdd with me, and im gonna try to redeem myself...
hope that the gods of cyberdom are smilin upon me, or atleast not frownin...
yea, thats my comp adventure..
later..
peace out..

The beginning

Hey y'all,
foist off, lemme tell ya i hav no damn idea bout bloggin, so this is probably goin to be one of those things you do which never actually take off but still manage to crash heavily.
For those of you who din get that one, chill, i don think i completely get what i was tryna say either.
This blog, is gonna be talkin bout a lot of things which im seein in my day to day life..
so the views are going to be a bit weird for some of you....but to all you cynics out there...happy reading dudes!!...
yea, as far as the intro goes i think thats good...
later then..
peace out,