iris..

and i'd give up forever to touch you..

cause I know that you feel me somehow

you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be

and i dont wanna go home right now..

 every single time I hear this song...i feel like the singer actually lives every thing the song talks about..and the song kinda flows out and sweeps over me.. gets me thinkin..

now dont get me wrong, i aint gettin all mushy and stuff...that stuff was somethin i would have done a while ago but not the current version of me.. I tried the mushy and cheesy path, the one where you actually speak your heart...the downside to that being, u'd better have a real strong heart coz its gonna be trampled..and used like a frikkin doormat..

so now im goin for a different approach, complete and total nonchalance.. thats the way to go..

dont be a jerk, but dont be a contestant for the nice-guy-of-the-year prize coz it really is true, girls dont really care for the nice guys, they go for the ones who r bein assholes to them..

while that extreme is definitely not for me...i decided that i aint gonna be goody two shows no more..

he he, kinda got interested in this one gal only to learn that shes commited....darn it!! but naah, who am i kiddin, prolly wudn have worked out neway.. and dudes!! i dunno what the hell is wrong with me, but it seems like im into women who r kinda older than me, i aint talkin bout Jeez grandma!! if neone thought that i am gonna visit you in your dreams and sing the entire list of nursery rhymes off key....ha! in yo face..!!

neway...mebbe the truth is, i find most girls who r of the same age as me to be too darn childish, all they ever think about is the wrapping on the package and never about the contents of the aforementioned package..

and i dont think its pathetic to admit to the world that you are feeling lonely, you are just feelin what anybody would feel if they were in the same situation...theres nothin to be ashamed of bout that...and those sharp pangs you feel when you see couples out and about, totally basking in each others company, dont worry bout it.....we all feel it too...

theres nothing gung ho about pretending that you are emotionless and cold, that would be as stupid as dropping the iron on your foot, and then saying "Nope, no pain"....then silently you walk back to your room, shut the door, turn up the stereo and scream... only retards would do that..and im most definitely not a retard.

and as far as seeing forever in someones eyes is concerned, that happens all the time, its a guy thing..he he, we like to dream.. what re ya gonna do eh?

but heres the funny thing, every single time im out there, looking at the stars spread out above...i cant help calling out to her, cause I know shes somewhere out there, thinkin bout where the hell I am..and every second im not with her is a second too long..

see, im much harder emotionally now...yeah right!!

neway....weird ass post eh?

sowwy dudes!!

latero..

magus