bushido..

isn't it strange how you start off searching for something, and failing to find it you despair..but then realization comes that your search should have started inside yourself...

I think I am getting closer to identifying myself, a samurai lives with the constant knowledge of his own death, and constant acceptance of it.. every action is done from this perspective, I am not of this world, I have already passed..

I believe that at some point of time during the course of my life so far, I came to follow this code..

I regard the events in this world with a detachment that is uncommon among my peers, and for a long time I considered this to be some flaw within myself, but now I see that it is not a flaw, it is simply me trying to come to terms with who I am..

funny is it not? A follower of bushido, a samurai, one without a blade..

they say that the best samurai is the one with a rusted sword.. does that make me the greatest samurai, the one with no sword..

now do not get me wrong, I am not saying this in a light vein, I do not mean to say that I am a warrior like the great samurai of ancient japan..I simply state that I am a follower of bushido, and I am thus a samurai..

'tis interesting when I think about the battles I fight everyday, though I have won many and have managed to survive most of the others, the day of my defeat shall come..

and then shall I kneel among the imagined shadows of falling sakura, water will whisper in the distance and the wind might sing a mournful dirge..

an imagined wakizashi is drawn out of its ethereal sheath..

my honor is saved..

and I race upwards and onwards..

magus.